Saturday, February 16, 2013

Chicken (that we don't have) Trauma

The First Rule of Green Acres: You don't talk about The Chicken.

The Second Rule of Green Acres: You don't talk about The Chicken.

"That" is a dog house. See? It looks like a dog house. It smells like a dog house. There is even a big water bowl large enough for two Rottweilers to drink for a week. Therefore, it must be a dog house. That thing there just works security.

Just stick your hand in there and she will gladly peck it off if you go near the water bowl. She may bite your hand just for daring to go in there in the first place. She is the defender of the c...age. Yes. And she is going to protect it right up until we find those dogs.

She has been with us for some time and we've kept her in various and sundry boxes, etc. They were hard to clean and didn't give her room to run around and roost or whatever it is that they like to do. Initially, she was a joke that started out with Buddy and his pitiful story about having to leave his baby chick at Gma Jewel's house when he was in grade school. So I've been on the hunt since then.

She's a Rhode Island Red and with any luck at all, bordering on a true--and I mean call the Pope--miracle, we'll have eggs!

As usual, actually touching, feeding, and/or risking my life in the care and feeding of anything beginning with homo sapiens (the odder ones) on down to...well, whatever...falls to me. So I corralled her into a box and grabbed her by the neck and legs which, oddly enough, she seems to like and brought her down to the new c...age...oop...thingie. She flapped and bock'd and flew at the chicken wire (it's just an adjective!) several times before she found a nice dark corner behind the dog house to hunch down in.

The only person she wishes to speak to is Squib. Of course. He walks up to the--fine it's a coop--coop and says (I'm not kidding)"

"Who loves, Squib??!!"

Only he screams it and turns "loves" into twenty syllables. I swear she walks out to see him every time. It's crazy.

The only thing crazier is that now Buddy and Squib both have decided that the work of one chicken cannot be done alone. Or she's lonely or now that we have the coop, we might as well have more chickens? So...Scat, just go get on the phone and find us some chickens.

Which is where all this started...

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