Monday, June 28, 2010

OFFICE TAKEOVER: Step Two and Ten Powers I'd Like to Have

Office Takeover Update: Night one went well. Yesterday's post was probably confusing. We have an office outside the house. It is a separate building. We all used it actively for two years and in January of this year everyone (but me) just stopped going out there. They resumed working in the "indoor office" which is really our house. The "indoor office" consists of the dining room and living room and study. The living room is also doubling as my bedroom until we figure out what to do with me. The most obvious choice (since the outdoor office doubles as guest quarters) is move me out there because there is just something odd about waking up to deafening discussions of 2D seismic analysis and/or gas chimneys (yes!) at 6:30am every morning. In your jammies.

Fatal Flaw In Plan: The outdoor office is still an office--at least to some folks. So, here I was, decent and all, but in my jammies (crazy hair and day-old make-up), nonetheless, studying and listening to some quiet music when there was a bold knock at the door. No one, and I mean NO ONE, ever shows up out here ('cause it's just WAY OUT HERE) until today. But, show up they did and here I was discussing their desire to bid on the 3D seismic survey job we **may or may not** have in **a state of the Union**. Say what? They were "in the neighborhood?" Right. And they obviously ignored the makeshift "The doctor is OUT" sign (a la Peanuts by Charles Schulz--you know, Lucy would sit and give advice when the doctor was "IN") that is clearly posted on the door. I am the doctor--it's a very long story.

Let me tell you right now that even though I keep my location mostly secret for the purposes of safety I could tell you where I am right now and you still probably wouldn't find me. The roads on all the maps aren't actually there and some are, but parts of the actual road in the middle are missing. It's delightful. I give people instructions on how to get here repeatedly and they still have trouble finding it--especially if they're using GPS. OK, not so delightful if I actually need that laptop coming via UPS. So....not in the neighborhood. And they WORKED on finding us. And parked a seismic crew in my driveway. They are doing surveys in the area. Nevertheless, I had **the conversation** and answered their questions without saying anything at all. It is a gift. I inherited it. It also works better since I'm female. Men naturally assume I know less (sorry guys, but it's true). It is one of my best qualities as an employee. I was once referred to as the protocol droid (someone said I should mention that is a reference to Star Wars, but then I thought you knew that).

Step Two: Reorganization and infiltration of book collection. This place is positively teeming with maps. Most of them can be archived (read: stored in garage). We've finished those projects and have no plans of going back, so no need for them to be piled up willy-nilly, right. Then there's the issue of my book collection that has been travelling about with me in the rear end of my Mountaineer. I use it all the time and have been running back and forth on a daily basis for years now. So...in they go. I have created space just for them by removing unneeded (and unwanted) detritus from projects past. Carefully stored in their plastic containers they will be safe for many years. AND...we can actually use the outdoor office for meetings and such now should the need arise....again.

New subject!

Ten Powers I Would Like To Have In Random Order:

I was thinking today about what I would like to be able to do if I could have ten totally random powers. Here they are without any explanation whatsoever (well, some explanation):

1. I would like the power to make it snow.

2. I would like the power to make a person comfortable with who they are.

3. I would like the power to give everyone an imagination. There are many who lack one, you know.

4. I would like the power to bring personal peace. Not like world peace, ending wars, etc. Personal peace. From anxiety, fear, mourning etc. I wouldn't end those feelings because they tell us important things, but once they are recognized, it would be nice to be able to resolve them at times.

5. I would like the power to clean the toilet mentally. No physical effort expended. This one's personal. Just for me, really, though I'd be glad to think your toilet clean if you like. Of course, I could potentially be sitting here all day thinking people's toilets clean. Not what I had in mind. OK, 10 toilet limit. First ten callers only.

6. I would like the power to fall asleep within three minutes of laying my head on the pillow. Again, a personal one.

7. I would like my eidetic memory to be "full strength" so-to-speak. The numbers thing is a bit annoying. I really don't need all those SSN's, phone numbers, and addresses. I'd like to remember other stuff, too--like I remember music. I'd like to remember my anatomy texts that way. It'd save time. Just saying. Being my father's personal Rolodex is, well, weird. If I could, say, access any page of the NSM Pediatrics manual, now, THAT would be helpful!

8. I would like to be more patient. Anyone who knows me knows that this would require abnormal powers on my part. Not the most patient woman in the world. Though I've had to be--and the wait is not over.

9. I would like the power to reveal my true heart to other people in a way they would see as truthful. Or at least unfettered by their preconceived notions.

10. I would like the power to find humidity pleasant. This requires POWER. And I am stuck in Texas.

Thus endeth this looooong entry.
Scat

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