Some days, people, plans, feelings, etc. are just like that.
Time to go to bed early so I can wake up with a head full of new thoughts 'cause the ones I have right now are darn sure not working out for me. I'm pretty sure an armload of happy pills couldn't improve my outlook right now, but the Publisher's Clearinghouse van showing up at my door would make a pretty good start.
Squib asks, "What are you thinking, mama?"
I think I shall not tell him. He is four and doesn't need words like these in his limited vocabulary. Especially since "butthead" exited his mouth in my direction and echoed from the walls of Kroger today. What was I thinking? They had cones up due to construction. It was for four-year-olds to do time trials through, right? Obviously! Any butthead could see that. He set me straight. Then I buckled him back into that plastic truck-cart and told him to zip it. He was properly offended.
Squib persists, "Are you thinking like I am thinking?"
Gosh I hope not!!!! I mean, yes to the thinking, but no to the thinking what he's thinking. Or, I should say no to the thinking what I'm thinking?
Squib continues undaunted, "Aren't you happy we are going to bed together?" He forgot to add (and you are not able to study because I threw such a wall-eyed fit with company here that you volunteered to fail an exam to make me happy?)
Truth is, life is pretty sad when a stupid test makes you wish you didn't have to lay down with your youngest until he falls asleep (while you still have the chance) to allay his fears and snuggle a little in the process. The truth is also that I can be a real creep on occasion.
Good night. May your tomorrow be better than today and any of your yesterdays and most of of your right nows.
(And let's just keep the toddler pee on the couch between us, OK? Yes, I cleaned it, but..gah.)