Monday, February 1, 2010


Knackered. Harried. Punchy. Acerbic and definitely snarky. Way beyond the usual playful sarcasm. Scat is stressed. When she is stressed, the voice in her head starts coming out of her mouth.

Classic example of my current brain-to-mouth filter error problem would be this: My mother has a way of calling you names that can really hurt. I know this. I know it well. Afterward, she always claims she was joking even though there wasn't even ever a kind of a grin. I KNOW THIS. Nevertheless, she let fly, cut deep, and without thinking the first word on my mind was out my mouth. Crap. She was joking. OF COURSE. I was a heathenish, wrong, black sheep imp of a rebellious child. OF COURSE. I was born wrong and seem to be forever in that state. OF COURSE. That's just how it works. If I had duct tape I would be wearing it.

Perhaps a trip to the hardware store is merited.

What is the matter? Everything and nothing. Life in general. You know the drill. Just as you get adjusted and absorb all the new and different circumstances of your life, you get thrown a curve ball (or two or three) and you have to learn to juggle all over again. Perhaps the plate-spinning analogy is more accurate.

I have also noticed that there are several people in my life who like to cause a big stink over something and get everyone upset, stirred up, downright mournful, and astonished. Once they have achieved that, they seem to change their tune and accept a generally more palatable position on things (without letting anyone know) and their emotional upheaval was for naught. They, too, have wrapped me up in their web a couple of times. I simply cannot do that any longer. Geesh. I really don't have time for that any more. In fact, it's the reason I never wanted to have any girl children!!!

I ended up with a very sensitive youngest boy, so perhaps I am honked in that department as well.

Sometimes, though, it just seems like the world is participating in a willful campaign of misinformation and I'm the one walking around going, "Huh?" and wondering if anything I'm hearing sounds "off" to anyone else.

Marching to the beat of a different drummer today...

No comments:

Post a Comment