Friday, August 14, 2009

Trumpet Vine

Always thought it wasd rather pretty for such an advantageous viney looking thing...and usually (until the whole garden thingy) being of the brown-thumbed variety of human, anything that dares show it's face, turn green for the most part and trail over my fences and sport some sort of bloom is somewhat welcome. Trumpet vine even sounds nice. At least it did.

How would I know?

Then I let things go and the side entrance to the deck became blockaded in a frenzy of uncontrolled trumpet vine and what I stupidly call "brambles" but probably have some other innocent and beautiful name. And then I acquired more books...another disease I have in spades. And I then "needed" the armoire.

I really did scour the place for all the "poisons" ivy, oak, and sumac. I know them well and they actually seek me out by name. I've taken my required botany class and I'm pretty much ok when I KNOW a plant is gonna take me hook, line, and sinker for a ride down the itchy highway of dermatographic hell.

An innocent voice perked up out of the dead silence that usually accompanies my blogs and said "Any Trumpet Vine?" to which I replied "Of course!" OF COURSE!!!!!!!!

I proceeded to stomp out the deck door to the pile of near-compost that was the arching vine over my walkway and could see, even in crispy, black death, the trumpet vine laying there in dead, euphoric triumph (get it?.....triumph! just...never mind).

I "arrrrgh"-ed at the pile loudly and stomped back inside the house to nurse my wounds which are actually copious. There will be some scars on my fore arm and definitely on my psyche. Every trumpet vine alive should live in fear of my presence. I'm aware of ecosystems and all that rot, but this is one link in the chain that I'm ready to eliminate. Completely.

And just to make life weirder...guess what has helped the most? A friend brought me some Claraderm. In addition to frankincense and myrrh (very aromatic) it contains other essential plant oils!!!! Kinda like fighting fire with fire.....or fire with other fire, I don't know. But this stuff works and I slept more in one night last night than I have in the last three nights put together. And, boy, was that ever nice!!! Ya'll know me, I'll probably update this and let you know what kinda gunk I'm soakin' in, but it's awesome!
Attrition has the nerve to say maybe I should retake botany or go to Merriwether's edible plant class....

.....whhaa.... I'm gonna stick a plant in my mouth after these last two weeks if it doesn't come from the store labeled "Spinach?"

Give it some time, Attrition,

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