Friday, December 21, 2012

The State of Things

Person: Would you--

Me: No!

Person: I didn't even--

Me: No.

Person: But I--

Me: The answer is still no.

Person: Then I'll just leave this w--

Me: OH NO! No. No no no.

Person: You don't even know what I--

Me: Yes I do. You want me to do something that you want to have done..done and you want to leave something with me that has to do with that something and I'm telling you I'm not taking extra orders at this time. So, again, I have to decline your considerate offer to do something you could do for yourself.

Person: But I really--

Me: No. Your best bet is to see my secretary. (I point to Squib)

*person looks at Squib awkwardly and Squib smiles his wide, jack-o-lantern smile*

Person: But he's seven.

Me: And you are observant. Everyone starts somewhere. Really, he's a go getter. Though he tends toward the arts. I mean really, isn't all paperwork better if it looks like Picasso took it in hand? Or if it can also fly across the room?

*person shuffles feet*

Person: I think I'll make a go at this myself.

Me: *sigh* There is just no creativity left in the world.


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