Thursday, July 26, 2012

Tilt

I knew this would happen eventually.


Brain overload increases exponentially to maximum at which point aural sensation is not interpreted well at all--certainly not in sync with visual input. Brain overload (BO, it's not what you think) accelerates with decreasing energy (E).


If you chop down trees for two days straight such that your 40-yr-old body can no longer even lay or sit comfortably enough to sleep, then juggle that with your normal workload and multiple efforts to tailor resumes for a recruiter who is also juggling several opportunities for you in a short time frame and then leave your house at a really unmerciful hour to retrieve your youngest son, then....this is what happens later that morning:


Squib: "Hey Mom!! (he shouts...always...the shouting)"


Me: "What (leaping five feet in the air and rotating to face him)!??

Squib: "Dr. Scott the paleontologist says that hadro-wheeeecarnieeeeeeeesaureeeeealloeeeeeeeeeeenviroeeeeeepleoeeeeeteraeeeeeeeediurneeeeeeeeepothehyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and nocturnal creatures that we see at night are bats, possums,  creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee whhhhhhhhheeeeetureseeeeemigratoreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeicthioeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeee hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonk and then they do this eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee so we should go out and eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrthrough their rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrforeshortened forearmsrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.""


Right?"


Right what? If it's not a Tyrannosaur or Brachiosaur or Diplodocus or one of the dinosaurs we had back in the 70's I'm really out of my league here. I'm learning, but he's learning faster. Can we alphabetize elements instead? What did he say? I Just. Don't. Know.

Maintain eye contact. (didn't work)

Tilt head from side to side for better reception. (did not work)

Stare directly at the mouth and pray you can lipread. (nada)

Switching to plan D...


Me: "I. Don't. Know. (but this is my thoughtful, studious version)."

He ponders this thoughtfully and squints at me. (ah oh)

Squib: "I don't know either!

Phew. He smiles and skips off merrily. Two, minutes pass.

Squib: "Mom! Eeeeewwwsauruseeewingedeeeeeestegoeeeeeeeeeepteranoeeeeeeeee.........."

Gasp!


It's gonna be a long day...
Scat

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