Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Yep, I'm A Liar...Among Other Things

Sort of.
I was talking to "someone who probably doesn't want to admit this" about salad dressing and she happened to comment on Newman's Own salad dressings which she LUUUUUVVVS. In her very next breath, she said, "I just can't wait for another movie with Paul Newman in it." To which I responded, "You're going to have to wait a very, very impossibly long time." She asked why. I replied, "He died two years ago."

"Now, Scat!! That is just a LIE!"

This is a typical response from "this person." If she disagrees with me, I am lying. I have learned to take it in stride because she is my elder and she is, well, slightly nuts. I encouraged her to Google it before accusing anyone else of lying because there aren't as many people out there who are as willing to accept the mantle of "liar" as I am. Of course, I don't think she would argue it with anyone else. Nevertheless, she did look it up. Lo-and-behold I was right. Her conclusion of the matter was, "Hmmph."

In other news, today saw the reappearance of that distasteful human being, Jack. This Jack. And this Jack. I was minding my own business seated here in my corner of the bunker working on a web page when I saw the email notification pop up in the lower right-hand corner of my screen: David Jackley Smith re: My Dear Sweet.


We have gone after this guy twice. TWICE, I tell you! He is the king of the Nigerian 419 scam and I haven't heard from him in almost a year. Thought we'd taken care of that. Apparently not. Or he just got turned loose. That's possible, too. Nevertheless, a chill crawled uneasily up my spine as I read (his poor English words), "hello ****, How you doing? I still love to meet you in this live. I need you so much."

Attrition is going to s*** a brick. Maybe enough bricks to put an addition onto the house. That could prove to be the only useful thing to come out of this effort.

It really is just a matter of time until this creephead is able to physically find me and that chills me to the bone. He is persistent to say the very, very least. I am literally praying that he is trapped in Nigeria where we found him the last time. Should he ever make it onto American soil, I will be a very worried person. I have two fears given that possible scenario. The first fear is for my personal safety. The second fear is for Attrition given what he might do should Mr. Smith make an appearance.

I really hate that some jerk has made me sit here for an hour contemplating how to protect myself once I leave the safety of my home. For the first time since I've dealt with him, I admit to being a little scared. OK, a lot scared.

In other news, the wait to see if Squib's heart repair is truly complete is over! Yay! No scar tissue. No minor holes. No nothing (except the reversed aortic arch). It's functioning perfectly (Dr.'s words, not mine). This is nothing short of miraculous and I am, to say the least, relieved.

Would you believe this is just a typical day?


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