Hit the Road, Jack! (II)

That's right, boys and girls, Jack's back!

Can you believe it!!!!? I thought for sure this dude was toast. In fact, I know several associated dudes were, in fact, toasted. Inevitably, though, the weeds spring up even through an asphalt paved surface. Just look at my driveway.

Minding my own business yesterday and thinking of things more work-like such as "OMG!" and "How in the you-know-what are we EVER going to get that done??!?" I absent-mindedly heard my Yahoo! IM kerplunk in the background and low-and-behold there was yet another Jackley Smith David 419er that had yet to get the message. And I quote (his grammar, his syntax):

"Hello honey, how are u? I know all is wel with u, is it bcos of the money i asked 4, ok 4get about de money n come 4 me. i luv u so much."

At first glance, I hope you laughed and said to yourself, "Self, this is so lame!" Having done my research and having let my fingers do the walking months ago, I knew it to be lame. I also know this to be a different Jackley Smith David, but how I come by that information really isn't pertinent or exciting. So here is mystery stalker number, what, two, three, four? At least three, but probably four asking me to forget about the money he asked me for and instead requesting me to fly to Lagos, Nigeria. This person is OUT OF HIS TREE! There is no frickin' way! I could have sent four times the amount he requested for the cost of a single plane ticket!!!! Not to mention the fact that any person (let alone a short, crazy woman) would have to be nuts or desperate to fly all that way into a dangerous country to meet some person they don't even know!!!!!

Still, I write this for one reason. And it isn't the reason you think. Hop on the internet. Do a little research on 419 scams. Read the eventual outcome for the (mostly) women who find some bond with these criminals and in the end are kidnapped, tortured, and eventually mutilated and killed. Don't tell yourself it'll never happen to you. In our present technological age, we meet people all the time without a single method of verifying that they are who they say they are. We use our real names. We use our real home towns. We use pictures of our families and children. Our public information is there for anyone to pick through and find.

I haven't personally had a run-in like this before. I do have a besotted 19yr old on MySpace who swears that an "older woman" like me is exactly what he needs. Guess he thinks he can just drive here conveniently whenever he wants to from North Carolina? Keeps sending me shots of his buff upper bod. Sad. Great upper body...the head doesn't seem to screwed on well, though.

There are some, though, who truly believe that these 419ers need help. Money or tickets or something....and unfortunately all they get out of the deal is more bribery, danger, and in some cases violence.

The real reason I write blogs like this is for those of you out there who DO have your hearts and minds in the right place and want to help those in need, to trust those you meet, to give freely of what you have, and to share your lives with others. Still others of you may just be in desperate need of someone to share a few moments with or deeper still, someone to love. To you, I say with all sincerity that those are all wonderful things to want. But, please, guard your heart, your mind, your life, and your loved ones. Be careful! Know what you're getting into.

Here are some guidelines I use to keep myself safe. These are by NO MEANS guaranteed to keep you perfectly safe!!!!! I am not a law enforcement agent nor am I educated or licensed to advise you on legal matters.

1. Don't use your real name or the real names of your family members when on the internet for chatting or MySpace, CafeMom, etc. Many people use their real names for Facebook without difficulty and if you choose to do that, restrict your other info and do not connect it to any other chat or dating accounts.

2. Don't use your real physical address. Can you say Yahoo! Maps? Now if you live "near Houston" like me...the odds are pretty good no one is going to find you.

3. Don't use your real telephone. Yes, this includes cells. This info is traceable.

4. If you get in touch with an old friend or family member and wish to give them your personal information, do it in a private email from your email address, not a private message on a chat service or as a post or status message on a chat service.

5. If you meet someone that you would like to get to know better, BE CAREFUL. Go slowly. Restrict your chats to the computer or a cell phone for quite some time. Ask for verifiable information. A copy of their driver license by fax or scanned image is a good start. Any non-criminal won't mind. Passport, too, if they have one. If they ask for your phone #, get their's too. If they want to meet, do not disclose your home address. Meet them at a common and well-trafficked location like Starbucks or Barnes&Noble for a short meeting. Keep your meetings short and public and with others for some time until you are comfortable. Then maybe one on one still at a crowded public venue. When you feel you are comfortable with them meeting you at your home, have other guests, too! The key is to NEVER be alone with the other person until you know them well. Or, as well as possible. ALWAYS tell someone when you are going out and where and when you expect to return.

6. Remember the copies of the DL and Passport? Use an online service or PI and for about $40+ bucks you can have them check the other person's records before things get too serious.

Be safe, please! (But still, have fun!!!)

Scat

Hit the Road, Jack!

[Thanks for today’s inspiration goes to Train’s My Private Nation album (one of my all-time faves) and to Queen for Another One Bites the Dust which I dedicate to every poor male soul past, present, and future that has to deal with my family in the process of getting to know me.]

My most memorable first date was you, Mr. S, because when you came in the door my father’s first question to you was “What do you know about Fibonacci numbers?” Kudos to you for answering without batting an eyelash: “I don't know.” I’d love to tell you on behalf of your gender that he’s gotten easier to deal with over the years, but that just isn’t the case. Now he doesn’t feel good until he has a copy of a valid driver license and Passport. We have family connections in varying degrees of law enforcement and if anything (and I do mean ANYTHING) turns up on your record, well too bad for you. So, being 37 and all, I’ve worked a deal out with my brother, attrition, and a few of his law enforcement contacts to help me out when I meet new folks--especially if it’s someone trolling MySpace accounts for b-e-a-u-tiful women like ME.

The reason I write this article is to tell you how real and dangerous just one of these “very interested” guys can be. It all starts innocently….”I will like to meet you.” So I looked at his pic. I looked at my pic. Couldn’t figure out why a pic like that would like a pic like me, but what the hey? I asked him, “Why do you pick me?” “Because I like you.” STOP! Now, you’ve read our entire communication thus far…and he’s decided he likes me? (RED FLAG 1) Then he says “I am from USA/FLORIDA/MIAMI.” Who in Miami, FL writes it like that? And doesn’t he know that me here in TX already knows FL is in USA? (RED FLAG 2)

So, I ask a few clarifying questions and my Yahoo! IM doesn’t carry any personal information and only one other contact…so I thought it might be interesting to talk to this yo-yo. I asked where he worked. He answers “OilAir Hydraulics, INC.” I clarify “In Miami?” He answers to the affirmative, but I am already on OilAir’s website because I know that their headquarters is, in fact, right here with me in the Greater Houston area (stroke of luck that I am actually in the oil business)…more checking and lo-and-behold: Internet Scandal Man isn’t on the company roster at all (at least his face isn't)—let alone as the Managing Director or Board Member of any kind. (so, what was that, RED FLAGS 3-5)

I must admit to some morbid curiosity at this point. There were several possibilities. 1) He just wants to chat and pretend he’s somebody. What a pity. Folks, if you just can't be happy being who you are, then you need to get there as quickly as possible. 2) He’s a stalker. 3) He’s going to try to pull some sort of internet money scam…the most popular being the 419 fraud/Advanced Fee Fraud…a scheme to entice the victim to send ever-increasing amounts of money with the promise that they will be rewarded with even greater sums of money for their trouble. Nigerian letter frauds started this sort of crime which has now expanded to include the use of contacting victims via dating websites and social websites like MySpace, in my case.

It didn’t take but a week for Internet Scam Man to find himself on a business trip to (drum roll) Nigeria (RED FLAG 6). Where he messaged me over a couple of days about the work he was doing. I know about drilling wells enough to know that he had no clue what he was talking about (RED FLAG 7). I was biding my time. Sure enough, two weeks ago, today, I get a very somber message from a "doctor" saying Scam Man has been in an accident (RED FLAG 8). Gee…how convenient. Also convenient was that scam man had supposedly used all the money he took with him to pay the correct officials—ok, BRIBE—to award him a contract. Who cares if I believe that or not? I mean, really?!!! We’re up to 8 red flags here! You can double that number if you include all our discussions on why he can't clearly speak the English language (or Dutch or German—the two he fell back on). (Oh, I almost forgot the at-least 20 red flags that flew when he mentioned he hired a bulldozer to "get the oil from the ground.")

Enter attrition. He and I have a pow wow and discuss all the information we would like to have before we pass this on to our "friends in the business." I continue chatting with Internet Scoundrel Man and get all that data from him. I pass to attrition. attrition calls in his favors. And now there are several people around this little planet we call Earth who are having a very bad day.

I feel minimally bad for them, but only for about two seconds and then I think of the BILLIONS of dollars our government agencies say are pouring into other countries just from 419 scams alone.

If you have received an email or request like I have described go to: http://www.occ.treas.gov/ftp/alert/2007-12.html

There you can follow easy instructions about how to forward questionable messages to the proper authorities and help in the fight against these criminals. And, seriously, you should fight it. It's not only disgusting, but dangerous. Law enforcement agencies and IT professionals across the globe are fighting it 24-7.

Hit the Road, Jack!

Scat